Game 5: Vs Buncha Benchwarmers

Botley Crüe 0 Vs Buncha Benchwarmers 4

Yellow: Guerin, Slater 

Botley Crue faced a derby match tonight, as they took to the pitch to face their traditional rival.
In three matches this season against the beanie-ref-asswipe (BRA hereafter),
the Crue have struggled. Would tonight be any different? 

No, in short, if you’re in a hurry. 

But it was by no means a foregone conclusion, as the game opened with a delicious slaloming run from in-form forward Mastrantone, which was ended only by the ball’s persistent refusal to find its way onto his right peg. The Crue were looking like a match for their permatan-shirted infant adversaries, and only found themselves behind when ‘keeper Piggott’s obsessive tidying got the better of him and the Buncha forward was able to exploit an unreasonably fast break by punting home from some distance.

A silence descended, as Goose received his booking for a perfectly understandable big swear and the Crue set about gathering themselves. The tidy play continued, and with everyone on form, or at least balancing near the top of it, Botley kept themselves in the game. Fairfield’s assured carriage in midfield kept the ball moving, and while Slater and Micklethwaite worried the flanks, a result was still very much in the reckoning. With Buncha’s best moves coming consistently down the left, it wasn’t long before another goal went in, from a crisp finish into the far corner, but the Crue weren’t bowed. 

They continued to probe in this three-way game, as the BRA tried to weedle his way into the play. A few non-throw-in decisions here and the odd 180° look-away there saw him increasingly grow in confidence. BRA has clearly learned from the top-level players, and a moment of slick blame-shifting later on saw Botley skipper Slater take matters into his own hands by attempting to bodily involve a second referee in events. When this didn’t come off, the Crue resorted to pressing upfield in the hope of a reward. Guerin and Bramwell having to put a real shift in - the latter trying to stow the ball up his jacksie at one point - but with Piggott actually managing to kick the ball further than five feet this week, Mastrantone’s holdup play was keeping the team in with a chance. 

Buncha sat deep and allowed the Crue some freedom out wide, but remained doggedly dangerous on the break and despite squandering some more chances, they were by no means shot-shy. Their confident play survived even when Piggott got one of his defenders into trouble once more; Fairfield’s careful backpass taking the most imperceptible of bobbles and the hapless ‘keeper swinging at air as the own goal coalesced behind him. Micklethwaite and Slater soon went close, but the Buncha ‘keeper turned shots left and right, and the Crue corners failed to find a head in the box. 

The closing minutes were expended in an end-to-end fashion, with both teams pouring in their respective directions. Piggott set about atoning for his earlier blunders by facing one onto the bar, and took his customary over-zealous approach to one-on-ones as his teammates toiled on in search of a consolation. The final score ended up 4-0, and while the Crue couldn’t argue with the result, their performance deserved a little better. As the final whistle went, the BRA smiled another smile and chalked up his own moral victory.